i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
