You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
