Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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