I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
