Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
