I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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