Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
