Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My nipple is on Facebook.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
