Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize