I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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