i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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