I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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