Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
