No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
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i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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