ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
