My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
