farters have to be the big spoon...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
