Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
