If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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