I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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