That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this beer tastes like vomit already
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize