I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
