I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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