90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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