I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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