Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
