So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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