I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
