I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
