end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize