So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
