Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
