You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
