at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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