so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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