Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want to stick my p in your. b.
where am i from again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just want to make out with him forever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
