watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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