I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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