I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
