You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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