i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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