I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
