Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
