My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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