hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
God, I missed his penis.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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