Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
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the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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