If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He did a backflip because drugs
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