girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
