Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
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It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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