A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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