Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize