that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
