you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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