i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
