he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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