My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
