Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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